Massage License Exams

As I believe I have mentioned here before, I graduated from massage school in December ('08). I have put off taking the Massage License exams long enough. I don't know why I procrastinated so long. Well, I do know why but I suppose I don't want to admit it. I believe that I have also mentioned here before that I miss terribly an old friend that I hiked with for many years. Next to my wife she was my best friend. We could talk about anything. Besides enjoying the beauty of the great outdoors and the feeling of wellbeing from the exercise, we were often engaged in long discussions about many things. She was a good listener and often helped me process my stuff, helped me get my thoughts straight before talking to my wife on various sensitive issues. My friend moved away a few years ago. I have been seeking such a friendship again but I am discovering that what I had seems to have been a once in a lifetime friendship. Other than hiking I don't have lot of interests that would involve meeting other people and I don't care for hiking with groups. I can foresee that in the future most of my contact with the public will be with clients. As an LMT it would be inappropriate for me to make friends with clients and that is probably the fear that I have let hold me back - that I might be tempted to allow myself to be friends with a client. Well, I took my written test the other day. I did not feel I was ready for it. Most of the classes I took were taken over a year ago. Kinesiology, Anatomy & Physiology especially were concerns. Pathology was a more recent class but still it was difficult for me to pull the info up while I was studying. Anyway my exam was scheduled for Friday the 13th (of this month) in Salem. Passing score was 630 and I got 810. I suppose that the top score was probably 1000 but could not find any place that indicated that. Those that know me know that I am not excitable and I am sure that from the outside I probably did not look excited but on the inside I was feeling pretty dang good about my exam results. I have found over the years that when ever I feel happy and excited about something there is most often another something that comes along and knocks me for a loop, something unexpected out of left field that catches me off guard. Perhaps that is why I don't allow myself to express my happiness but keep it bottled inside - some form of protection for myself. When I got my exam results I wanted to jump for joy and shout a big 'Whoo Hoo' but I just did a little jump inside my heart, thanked the examiner and left the testing center. I took my CPR class last night. I have to have that certificate to apply to take the Practical exam. Now I need to find others to practice and study with for the practical. I have been unemployed since last fall when the company I worked for shut down due to economic conditions. As I keep searching for work and I keep running into road blocks and 'sorry, we are not taking applications' I am realizing more and more that I seem to be being directed towards my massage practice. Once I get the license I can breath a big sigh of relief and can start focusing on building my clientele - if there will be anyone left out there that can afford a massage. I am sure that if I am meant to build a successful massage practice that it will happen - not without hard work I am sure. And I am sure that if I am meant to find a friendship like I had before that she will come along at the right time and place. I just have to continue convincing myself of that and keep on keeping on.